What the heck???

While I was getting ready to go to work last night, Dusty went to pick up the kids from daycare. When the Bub got home, I was in total shock. His hair looked like the poor child had stuck his finger in a light socket. Too funny, but I'm also wondering how the heck it happened. Oh well, I suppose it makes for a good laugh. The girls at work sure thought it was funny and almost fell out of thier chairs when I showed them the picture.

Christmas Day is finally here!!!

We had a wonderful Christmas, even though Noah woke up at 4am that morning crying. I finally put him back to bed around 6:30am. I was a little worried that he wasn't going to wake up in time to open his presents since he has got up during the night, but I finally heard him stirring and we got him and sister and put them in the middle of all their presents. Here's what the tree looked like pre present opening.

 

Noah and Livi opening thier gifts. What cuties.

Noah loved his "Hee Haw" Stick and kept waving it around everywhere and bopped sister quite a few times. He had to show daddy all of his gifts that he got and would bring them over to him after he opened each one. We got him and Livi some "Sing a Long" guys, but somehow, Noah ended up with both of him and claimed them as his own. By the end of the morning however, Noah was scared of them. Probablly because thier mouths open and we were fooling around and putting his finger in thier mouths and it freaked him out. Poor Bub, but it was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I tried not to give Noah too many sweets in his stocking, so I got him the little Graduate Snacks and slipped one tube of M&Ms into his stocking as a treat for later. Funny thing is, we still haven't opened them since he doesn't realize what's in the tube. He's been more obsessed with making the M&M man on top spin around.

Here's the living room post-present opening.

We gave Noah a Glow in the Dark Board with a light pen and he absolutly loved it. We made the living room dark and he played with it for the longest time. I got the camera out and told him to smile and this is what he did. Hey, at least he's actually looking at the camera.

Me & Livi (I just love her little smile)...Oh and the bandaid was from Noah's stocking. I thought it would be cool to get these "Sparkling" bandaids for boo boos and when I got one out,  it wasn't sparkly at all. Big disapointment, but cute none the less.

Noah was eating some of his snacks since I was too excited to get him to open his presents instead of giving him a proper breakfast first.

Daddy and Noah (he's still cramin' his snacks in, lol)

Christmas Eve

Tonight was so much fun. We went to Dusty's sister's house (Kim) and did our annual Christmas Eve party. Kim and her family just built thier new house not long ago and decided to host the festivities this year. The house was very nice. We got the grand tour and the most exciting feature is the custom bathroom which has a glass shower, garden tub, beautiful marble, and his/her closets. Very sheek.

I dressed Noah in a little outfit that made him look like he was going to church and everyone kept asking him what the sermon was going to be about. Too funny. Livi wore a little dress that I found that looked like the one I had when I was little. They were both very cute.

We ate our usual feast of Sandwiches, Chips, Dips, and the always favorite selection of fine deserts. We all visited, ate, then started passing out the presents. Noah was in a tizzy trying to figure out what was going on. He started taking all of his presents and sitting on them because I guess he thought they were chairs.

When the big present opening moment came, all the kids went crazy. Bub needed a little help, but figured out how to unwrap everything pretty quick.

Livi went after her presents right off, but she just wanted the paper. That child will go for the paper every time.

They both got quite a few presents and I think they both had a good time even though we stayed well past their bedtime.

Everyone seemed to be having a great time.

One of our nephews got a helicopter and since the ceiling was so high, we all got to see it work. Several people got hit, including Noah, but it didn't hurt anyone and actually when Noah got hit, he cracked up. It was hilarious.

Noah and his cousin Gavin got out their chairs that they got as presents and were taking them around the room and ploping down in them. Noah accidentally got too close to the Christmas tree and it almost toppled over when he fell out of the chair. That's Noah for you, he's very clumsy. Livi had her share of clumsiness with Noah's chair too and fell over several times as well, but both of them got up and laughed afterwards.

To my embaressment, Livi got ahold of my cup and as she grabbed it, I took it away and with her other hand, she grabbed Dusty's cup and ice and tea flew onto the carpet and in Dusty's dad's christmas bag. I was horrified because it got all over the gift bag and carpet. Thank goodness Kim was cool about it. Despite my children's clumsiness, it was a wonderful night. I can't wait until the morning and they open their gifts from us & Santa. :)

Blah ha ha

I was rummaging through Noah's closet to see if I could find something, and came across one of his "bogins" from last year. We thought it would be hilarious to see what Sister looked like in it and we almost fell out. She looked so silly in the fuzzy "bogin". She didn't seem to mind it though. :)

Daddy's Birthday

Today, December 17th, daddy would have been sixty eight years old.
A tribute to dad....

"Picnik Show"

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Ole!!

Last night we ate at the Casa Ole. It was a nice dinner, but an omen of things to come (Word is that food = busy night and since our annual Christmas party was to come, it was  bad luck to add yummy night out with the gang). Our friend Suzanne didn't make it since she got called in and Kristy woke up too late to make it, but we had fun none the less.

Jennifer and Cindy

Susan, me, and AO

We were supposed to be able to enjoy our Christmas dinner from 10:00 pm until 12:00am, but it was busy from the start. I barely cleaned up the mess from the dayshift secretary (they had a bad day too). We had seven triage patients in one hour...ouch. I think it was one of the craziest nights since I started in July. Don't get me wrong, I love the adrenaline rush of it all, but whoa! It takes a toll on you after the fact. I pretty much came home and went to bed and was still give out when I woke up. Thank goodness for coffee!!! :)

Words can't say

Well, when I went back to work, everyone gave me condolences, but didn't make a big deal out of things. One of my favorite doctors, Dr. Taylor, said that when he found out what had happened, he started praying for me and I had been in his thoughts. That meant alot. When the night ended and I walked to my car to give some of my friends their Scentsy they had ordered, my friend Jerri stayed behind. She gave me a folder that had the hospital logo on it and told me that my supervisor had asked Jerri to put together a little something for me and inside the folder, there was some information about ectopic pregnancy, support groups, and a special card from my co workers who had worked that night. The most special thing inside was the little embroidered heart. I tried to hold in my tears as I hugged her. We said our good byes and I stayed in the car after she got on the elevator and looked at everything. It was so sweet. I figured I better get home before I got too emotional, but at every light I grabbed the folder and looked at the little heart and started tearing up again. When I finally got home, I fell into Dusty's arms and showed him what they gave me. Bub of course wanted in on the action, so I loved on him too. I can't say I've ever had any friends like I do at work. They are very caring and considerate and there are a few special ones that I absolutely love. I think I have finally found somewhere I belong.

For my little angel baby.

So far, so good

Well, it's been ten days since I lost the baby. It's still fresh to the point where I tear up if I think about it, but it's getting better. I've been spending a lot more time with the kids and treasuring every moment.

(Bub and me cuddling and watching tv. I made Dusty take a pic because Bub doesn't lay down to love on me like that too often. I think he knew I was sad and wanted to make me feel better)

I was really excited to be having another child. I was even picturing the doctor telling me the sex because I had already decided that we weren't going to find out at eighteen weeks. In the back of my mind, I kinda wouldn't mind actually trying for a third after I recover and Dusty and I have even been talking about it, but that's a big step and we're not going to make a decision any time soon, just kinda daydreaming. Livi has really gotten attatched to me since I've been off from the surgery. Dusty even noticed. I'm trying to soak it up because I'm scared that with one fallopian tube that I might not be able to get pregnant easily or at all. So, if she's my last baby, I want to treasure her. She's even been sleeping with me. Oh I love snuggling a baby, they're so warm and smell so good. Oh and by the way, Olivia is eight months old today!!!

Everyone has been really supportive and sympathetic. A really sweet midwife up at work has what's been making me feel better. We've only talked a time or two on facebook, but it's been a big help. There's just something about her words that really touch my heart. She knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. I'm almost dreading going back to work because I'm sure everyone will tell me their sorry. Of course,  I might be wrong and they all might act like nothing happened. I hope I don't cry either way.

I didn't tell anyone in the family that I had a misscariage except my sister Mary who, I had to tell because we had to have someone bring Dustin to the hospital so he could drive me home. I didn't want to have to tell everyone the whole story again and I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me. At the current moment, I wouldn't say I'm really close with my family. This blog is pretty much my diary because I don't figure anyone even reads it except my sister Mary who I can't talk about since she's going to read it. :) I would like to think that someone looks at my blog and keeps up with me because they geuinely like the kind of person I am and with this day and age, blog stalking is a hobby to most people (I know it is to me), but I doubt I have any fans. I don't have anything to demonstrate, I'm not trying to make money off my blog...this is just my story about my life...plain and simple. Hey, I ought to put this speech on my profile.

Speaking of family, let me introduce you to them (It's about time isn't it?)...

(Dad and Mom-this pic was taken around 2002?)

I have an older brother named Erick who is twelve years older than me,

(Erick with his daughter Ericka and son Joshua)

an older sister named Crystal who is ten years older than me,

(Crystal with her son Dalton and daughter Destiny at the school's Thanksgiving lunch)

and a wonderful (wink wink) sister named Mary who is exactly two years younger than me.

(Mary aka "MiMi" and Livi hanging out at my house)

Parade Day

Today we went to the parade here in Whitehouse and it was unusually warm and a bit windy to be December, but that didn't put a damper on our holiday spirits. We hadn't really planned to go to the parade, but we couldn't resist taking our little ones to see Santa. It was your basic hometown parade...kinda korny, but its one of those things where you're proud because it's where you live and it's special. Noah got to see Santa and I took him a little closer to get a better look. He seemed to have fun. Livi is still too little to know what's going on, but maybe next year she'll be able to have a lttle more fun.

"Picnik Show"

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Lucky Lotto

Every now and then, you get the feeling that you should buy a loto ticket....right? Well, Dusty thought that last night would be the night. I let Dusty sleep in and Livi crawled behind my seat and I heard something krinkle......it was the lotto ticket. I don't think we won. If we did win and Livi ate it, then it was worth it.  I love my babies even if they eat winning lottery tickets!! :)

Uh oh...walking already?!?

I forgot that we had Bub's walking lion, so I broke it out for Livi Loo to play with. Goodness...at eight months, she is already walking pretty much. Noah James started walking at nine months, so I figure Livi is going to be right on track with him. She seems to be a little more advanced than him, but it will all be fascinating to watch. :)

Livi is totally adorable!!!!

Angel Baby

It's been a while since I've posted, but I have to get something out in the open. I lost my baby on November 28th. I'm sure everyone's asking "What? She was pregnant?" Yes, I found out November 12th after I took four pregnancy tests. It was a shock, but an exciting turn of events. I got it confirmed by the doctor on November 22nd, but we hadn't told anyone yet except for my friends at work (I couldn't resist).

I couldn't resist and bought this ornament for the 5th new addition to the family.

On November 27th, I came home from work around 7am and woke up around 10am and had sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen. When I woke up, I came into the living room and Noah saw me and said "MOMMY" really loud, so I took the time to love on him before going back to bed and hoped that the pains I was having  was nothing.

Around 2 o'clock, I woke up, still in pain and went to the bathroom. Dusty and the kids were asleep. I went to the bathroom and there was some blood. I let Dusty wake up on his own because I knew what the blood meant. He kissed me and told me that it was nothing, even though we both knew what it was. I went to work thinking that I was having a miscarriage, and figured it would pass, so I didn't tell anyone.

Around 8:00pm, I was hurting really bad on my right side, so I told my friend Jerri and she said to go to the ER, but I told her that I would be ok and that I would talk to the charge nurse when she got out of the delivery she was in. I finally told the charge nurse and she told me what Jerri said, go to the ER. They got me to a bed right away. I'm not sure how I made it because as soon as I got a bed, I almost collapsed in pain. I couldn't breath much less think. They did a cath UA, pap, ultrasound, etc. The doc came back and said that they couldn't find the baby in the ultrasound. WHAT??? Where the heck was the baby? They finally moved me to the unit on 3 east to be observed overnight and to re check my labs in the morning. My friend AO and April came to see me around 2 am and it was so awesome to have them there. Made me feel good despite what was happening. In the morning, the news came that I would need surgery to remove my baby becuase it was an ectopic pregnancy. Dusty couldn't come because we only had one car, which was in the parking garage, and there was no one to watch the kids. It was a little sad not to have him there, but what could he really do, but wait? Before I could think, I was whisked away to surgery. When I woke up, I could hardly breathe. My throat was dry, I hurt all over, and the thought losing my baby and my fallopien tube made me sad. At the moment, I feel a little lost, and don't know what else to say.